tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post3298674461112250486..comments2024-03-03T22:02:43.757-04:00Comments on Quiet Laughter: A to Z: Skin--Thick or Thin?Guilie Castillohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-66451443912706697022012-04-23T01:15:15.496-04:002012-04-23T01:15:15.496-04:00Wise words. I feel okay about rejections when I...Wise words. I feel okay about rejections when I've got a lot of stories out on the market - rejections are a natural by-product of getting your stuff circulating. As for critique, I find it's more useful for the *next* story. I tend to make things worse if I try to do extreme surgery on a piece. <br /><br />On the more amusing side of the spectrum, for anyone who's wary of rejection, you can practice toughening your skin over here:<br /><br /><a href="http://stoneslidecorrective.com/?page_id=441" rel="nofollow">The Stoneslide Corrective's Rejection Generator</a><br /><br />This webpage allows you to send rejections to your own email inbox: "The Rejection Generator rejects writers before an editor looks at a submission. Inspired by psychological research showing that after people experience pain they are less afraid of it in the future, The Rejection Generator helps writers take the pain out of rejection."<br /><br /><a href="http://elizabethtwist.blogspot.ca/" rel="nofollow">A-Z @ Elizabeth Twist</a>Elizabeth Twisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03133959633383307056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-14414354791197774372012-04-22T20:12:25.577-04:002012-04-22T20:12:25.577-04:00rejection is the antidote to failure...
i would n...rejection is the antidote to failure...<br /><br />i would never have refined anything if at some point i was told it was not good enough...<br /><br />we all fail at some point in our attempts in the creative world. it is the thing that grounds us to the reality of our world...<br /><br />not everyone will love everything...that guyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09171219082208472827noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-75017049547432045262012-04-22T14:15:35.265-04:002012-04-22T14:15:35.265-04:00Thanks, EJ! Glad you liked it. Totally agreed with...Thanks, EJ! Glad you liked it. Totally agreed with the work and practice bit. Too often we think our talent is enough, but... There's a pink post-it on the edge of my laptop screen that says, "The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without the work." Can't remember who said it, but it's what I live by (when I'm not procrastinating, that is :D). Thanks for stopping by!Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-87090341183937049002012-04-22T14:09:42.340-04:002012-04-22T14:09:42.340-04:00Thanks for stopping by, Gary, and joining the conv...Thanks for stopping by, Gary, and joining the conversation. Totally agreed--self-esteem is a huge "component" of that thick skin we keep hearing about.Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-61263114728212049052012-04-22T12:38:59.364-04:002012-04-22T12:38:59.364-04:00No doubt, Guilie, apathy and arrogance are dangero...No doubt, Guilie, apathy and arrogance are dangerous to a writer. You can't quit caring completely, or there'll be nothing to keep pushing you to get better. And a great writer isn't born. It's work and practice. Beautiful post, as usual. : )<br /><br />EJAnonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00273059558675234923noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-10583112696111464592012-04-22T11:15:11.599-04:002012-04-22T11:15:11.599-04:00Thanks for a thoughtful and nuanced post Guilie. I...Thanks for a thoughtful and nuanced post Guilie. In many situations, our self-esteem can also helps us to overcome both constructive and harsh or unfair criticism.Gary Gauthierhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01939746775173387425noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-43702613797151706932012-04-22T10:45:34.519-04:002012-04-22T10:45:34.519-04:00So true, Botanist--self-confidence is absolute key...So true, Botanist--self-confidence is absolute key. I've seen too many manuscripts distorted beyond recognition from a writer's very human desire to please critics. Integrity to your story has to come first, and the self-assurance to know when to listen and when not to is an art. Thanks for joining the conversation!Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-18273019580032879132012-04-22T10:43:45.017-04:002012-04-22T10:43:45.017-04:00Thanks for the visit, Emily.Thanks for the visit, Emily.Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-7011834907012392352012-04-22T10:40:23.484-04:002012-04-22T10:40:23.484-04:00Glad you liked the post, Bean, and thanks for stop...Glad you liked the post, Bean, and thanks for stopping by. The job *will* come, you'll see :)Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-85719434569829641362012-04-21T21:44:11.298-04:002012-04-21T21:44:11.298-04:00Thick skin v. not caring...now that's a vital ...Thick skin v. not caring...now that's a vital distinction, and I've not heard it expressed like that before but it's so true.<br /><br />I think I've managed to err on the right side. A tough critique still hurts, but doesn't reduce me to a blathering wreck (or to outright denial).<br /><br />You also need a healthy measure of self-confidence in there too, to know when to listen to the criticism and when to stand firm, otherwise you might end up writing the critiquer's story rather than your own :)Botanisthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12098709722475364465noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-35891316856824720202012-04-21T20:45:37.525-04:002012-04-21T20:45:37.525-04:00Great advice!Great advice!Emily Gentherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04720127792394245223noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-26837577313879580582012-04-21T12:56:43.196-04:002012-04-21T12:56:43.196-04:00Haha--love it! Thanks for stopping by, darlin'...Haha--love it! Thanks for stopping by, darlin' :)Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-88651699282781508512012-04-21T12:49:35.103-04:002012-04-21T12:49:35.103-04:00Well said, Guilie. It's important to not be ap...Well said, Guilie. It's important to not be apathetic towards your own writing but to try to make it *better*. <br /><br />In other news, I've gotten thick skin because of job interviews; I just don't get 'em. :P<br /><br />-Barb the French BeanThe Beanshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09294653760778922184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-21579554819160959752012-04-21T12:33:04.786-04:002012-04-21T12:33:04.786-04:00I have the skin of a dinosaur :)
Great post, Guil...I have the skin of a dinosaur :)<br /><br />Great post, Guilie!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04283371140346602856noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-6111256101816708022012-04-21T12:19:42.120-04:002012-04-21T12:19:42.120-04:00Margo, thanks for the input! Indeed, a huge part o...Margo, thanks for the input! Indeed, a huge part of writer groups is to offer support, especially to newbies. Us creative types are so prone to lack of faith in ourselves, and peer support is of huge value. I do think, however, that the best support we can offer (and get) is the one that guides us into better writing. Harsh critiques--mind you, I don't mean snarky ones, or plain cruel--are the ones that stick in my mind as the moments when I've grown most as a writer.Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-67325342111554412342012-04-21T12:16:16.050-04:002012-04-21T12:16:16.050-04:00Janna, you're not alone--I think your reaction...Janna, you're not alone--I think your reaction is not only natural and human, but also the start of the assimilation process. In order for us to learn from any critique, we need to let it in, let it affect us--otherwise, how will we ever know if it's got merit? Let's face it--this "business" of writing we're in is an extremely subjective one, both in the creative process itself and in the marketability of our art. So it follows that any learning we do must be of an emotional nature as well, must come from the gut. To me, it sounds like you got it right--emotional reaction, plot revenge, grape elixir to cool down, give the critique a chance to say its piece. The fact that you can't not care is a huuuuge plus :)Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-76473398610134088542012-04-21T12:09:52.200-04:002012-04-21T12:09:52.200-04:00Glad you liked it, Teresa, and thanks for stopping...Glad you liked it, Teresa, and thanks for stopping by. In a way, "pretending" our skin is thicker is a first step, right? The important thing is, like you said, to keep our focus, and not let criticism get to us to the point where we shut down, or to dismiss it to the point where we miss the lesson.Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-13656473122487836552012-04-21T12:01:33.199-04:002012-04-21T12:01:33.199-04:00Good for you, Bob! It is, indeed, thick skin, at l...Good for you, Bob! It is, indeed, thick skin, at least in my book: you're not dismissing criticism, as painful as it may be, but instead you're learning from it. Kudos!Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-18553136642361948972012-04-21T12:00:02.705-04:002012-04-21T12:00:02.705-04:00That's just it, Cindy--exactly!That's just it, Cindy--exactly!Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-69077846922768441052012-04-21T11:33:52.060-04:002012-04-21T11:33:52.060-04:00Ooooh, I *like* that imagery, Francene, and the ha...Ooooh, I *like* that imagery, Francene, and the hat-tip to Michelangelo--he always said the sculpture is already inside the block of marble; all the sculptor needs to do is discover it. Saying something like that, when you're Michelangelo, sounds like a sky-high pile of hubris, but if you think about it, it's really humility. Very true, Francene, and thanks for stopping by to join the conversation :)Guilie Castillohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09006999087139126972noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-8319506379893010712012-04-21T11:25:49.917-04:002012-04-21T11:25:49.917-04:00Dejection - I never thought of it that way, nice! ...Dejection - I never thought of it that way, nice! (or not nice, I guess!)<br /><br />Giving critiques is hard too, especially in person. I love writing groups because the face-to-face time is a nice change from virtual time in the blogging world, but after sharing your thoughts on someone's work it's frustrating to have them justify half the things you point out. But I try to remember the days when I was like that, before I learned how to handle a critique. We need to be there for some of the newbies coming along, too.Margo Berendsenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03476308235642890474noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-44962694751440128152012-04-21T10:48:24.836-04:002012-04-21T10:48:24.836-04:00I'm sort of a mix. When I get a bad review my...I'm sort of a mix. When I get a bad review my first instinct is to say "what do they know" and then have a glass of wine while I plot ways to get even. By the end of the glass, however, I'm analyzing and reconsidering the points they made. The one thing I know I can't do, is not care.Jannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01526270041449395216noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-72864586565712126732012-04-21T09:37:31.097-04:002012-04-21T09:37:31.097-04:00i pretend to have thick skin, but it's crystal...i pretend to have thick skin, but it's crystal clear. <br /><br />gotta keep our focus. great post.<br /><br />TeresaT. Powell Coltrinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02160774009926623671noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-65817980883389504692012-04-21T08:26:48.494-04:002012-04-21T08:26:48.494-04:00My reaction to criticism and rejection is pretty m...My reaction to criticism and rejection is pretty much the same; learn from it, improve what you've written and set out to show them what you can do. If that's thick skinned then count me in.Bob Scotneyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00662958579705940009noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7436812892124383603.post-88421994158274746082012-04-21T08:04:27.182-04:002012-04-21T08:04:27.182-04:00Great post, and so true. If you're not getting...Great post, and so true. If you're not getting rejected, you're not trying anymore.Cindy Dwyerhttp://cynthiadwyer.com/noreply@blogger.com