Oh, you grammar Nazis, you...

I'm one. I admit it. I'm even proud of it.

(Yeah, I taught English for ten years.)

I hate it when people misuse punctuation. Misspelled words--the classic affect vs. effect, for example, or confidant instead of confident, and the ever-present confusion of it's and its--make my teeth ache. My nerve endings cringe when I read sentences like, "If I would've seen it..."

And don't get me started on the new-generation text-type spellings of UR and THX and GR8. Hoo-hah, great time savers, those. What do people do with the thousands of hours saved by typing UR instead of you're, I wonder?

WIP Update

It's coming close to the one-year anniversary of me typing THE END on this WIP of mine on August 15th last year. As a pantster I knew I had tons of revision ahead of me, that THE END was merely the beginning... But I never imagined exactly how much, or how tough it would be.

On selecting your editor

A while back, I posted something on editors, about how important it is for us writers to get one. The truly wondrous EJ Wesley asked a key question in the comments that day that I've delayed enough in answering.

Yes, we agree editors are the cat's pajamas. The bee's knees. The last Coke in the Sahara. The first daffodil of spring. The last cigarette in the party (at 3 AM). And we all want one. Desperately.

But, EJ asks, how do we choose one?

Now, I'm no expert. I never worked with an editor until three months ago. What I am is extremely lucky.

If you're looking for an editor, even just beginning to think about finding one, or maybe have given up on the whole thing because you got scammed (or heard of someone who knows someone who did), let me try and help.

What are you looking for? A panacea to turn your "great idea" into a marketable novel? A grammar fiend to help you fix the "small" details of verb tense consistency or dangling modifiers? Someone who can cut away those extra words in your 312K manuscript?

You missed me?

I know, I'm a bad friend. Worse blogger. I've abandoned you, this awesome community of awesomer people, and although I know I don't deserve it, I'd like to humbly ask your forgiveness. I'd also like to explain what I've been up to--no, not an excuse. Just an explanation... And a couple of funny stories.

First: the MS. Did I mention editors are awesome? You missed that post, you say? Well, I'll say it again--sadly, not as well as Chuck Wendig--editors ROCK. And as a result of such rocking, my MS is undergoing some sorely needed reality checks.

REALITY CHECK ONE: the original manuscript took place 90% in 1995, only 10% in 2003. That wasn't working. The 1995 story is lovely and very cute, but it only acquires relevance in retrospect.

And the "retrospect" part was missing--duh. Major oversight. A few minor ones (like tension) also fell short. So I decided to add more into the 2003 timeline.

But the novel already was above 100K. In order to add even the word "retrospect", I had to cut. Yeah. Bitter moments.


REALITY CHECK TWO: Not only was the novel already long, but my editor also happened to drop the hint that there might be some "verbiage" that perhaps didn't add quite as much as I thought it did. 


Yeah--she's too tactful for her own good. But I'm good at reading between the lines, and I started noticing longish sentences, explanatory dialogue, scenes that didn't go anywhere... 


My editor, with a Mona Lisa smile, said, "be ruthless". 


Best advice ever. 

REALITY CHECK THREE: Another gem of a morsel from my editor: you're in love with your MCs. You solve problems for them. You don't let problems happen to them. In other words, m'dear (aka amateur), tension is lacking all over the place. It's not there. 


Yep, I looked, and--lo and behold. Zilch.


So now, woven into both the 2003 and 1995 timelines, a steel thread of razor-sharp tension has been added. Ok, is being added.

~ * ~

That's my first excuse for dropping the ball on Quiet Laughter here. I have another two for later, funny in a Fawlty Towers way, that I hope will soften your heart and earn me your forgiveness. Even a single iota of--


Yes, that's the prose that got me into trouble in the first place. Let me just say then that I love you, Quiet Laughter readers. I do. From the deepest recesses of my heart and liver, from within emotional places within my psyche that have no name still A lot.