Welcome to Six Sentence Sunday! Hard to believe that next week it'll be Christmas already, but there you have it--2012 is done, ladies and gents.
This excerpt is from Chapter 8 of Restoring Experience, one of my current WIPs. I promised you'd meet Dan, Alexia's boyfriend of seven years (yikes!) and... here he is.
“Come walk with me,” he said, shut the door behind him.
I tried not to fidget as I watched him come around to my side. It was so stupid, having to wait inside the car for him to get the door for me, but all the men I knew insisted, and the hurt on their faces whenever I did it myself generated enough guilt to make me desist.
I didn’t mind when he held a door open for me, or when he pulled out a chair for me at a restaurant--I liked it--but when it came to the car it made me fidget. I felt helpless, locked in. None of the other girls seemed to mind, and it never looked awkward with them--just with me.
Thank you so much for your visit, and triple thanks for your comments and feedback--they make my day, every time. Plus, I really want to know what impression you got of Dan so far.
Have a fantastic Sunday, y'all, and remember to visit the other Six Sundayers--one day you'll see a new bestseller at your local bookstore and say, "Hey! I read a piece of that online, when it was just a work-in-progress, at Six Sentence Sunday!"
P.S.--I'm celebrating this weekend because a short story of mine was published Friday at Fiction365. If you're in the mood for a creepy story about legends that won't stay *just* legends, take a hop over and read it here. I'd love to hear what you think about that one too!
Gosh, what that poor girl is going through is so hard! I bet Dan is the 'perfect' boyfriend, hence all the guilt...
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the short, girlie! XOXO
Thanks, Zee! Yeah, I think Alexia's guilt is starting to build up :) Thanks for stopping by--off to read yours now :D
ReplyDeleteI disagree with Zee which isn't often - in a relationship for seven years - and ? I have the impression he is boring - and boring is the worst insult I can hurl at a person. Every girl (and boy) needs excitement at least some of the time. Happy Holidays to you !
ReplyDeleteHahahaha... Sue, I understand--it's not easy to disagree with Zee :) But I think Alexia would definitely agree with you on this one: seven years is a long time, and even though Alexia's been taught to shun excitement--she lost her father some years ago and she's still recovering from all the upheaval that caused--I think right now she's about to face a question most of us do sooner or later (or all the time): does she do what she's *supposed* to do, or what she *wants* to do?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the visit!
Oh, I empathize completely. I can get my own darn car door! Great six, Guilie. :)
ReplyDeleteThanks, Siobhan! Yeah, those car door issues :D Thanks for dropping in--next time stay for a cuppa ;)
ReplyDeleteSounds like Alexia has a problem asserting herself? I'd love to read more to see how/if she figures it out!
ReplyDeleteAll kinds of awkward, as Our Heroine plays the role of someone she isn't. Nicely done six.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations on your short story publication! I liked this week's six. Interesting insight into the heroine.
ReplyDeleteYes, congrats on the publication of your short. And yes, the insight into the heroine is intriguing--also that's exactly how I feel about the car door thing, so I related 100%.
ReplyDeleteGreat writing! Thank you.
ReplyDeleteThank you! For the visit, for the comment, and for the congratulations :) @Sarah, yes--I do hope Alexia figures out how to make a stand. @EP--that's a great way to put it! @JC & @Gem, glad you noticed the insight to Alexia's character--it's so hard to do when it's just six sentences, hehe.
ReplyDeleteHappy Sunday, girls!
Nice piece of narration - I can totally understand why she feels that way, and the guys are jerks for insisting on chivalry when it doesn't make her feel safe. Thanks for taking part!
ReplyDeleteI missed the list deadline for this week, but I did get six sentences up! http://kelworthfiles.wordpress.com/2011/12/18/six-sentence-sunday-more-from-children/
It's nice to read a woman's POV on this little tradition for a change. Thanks for exploding a myth for me.
ReplyDeleteGood style, too. Nicely done. You obviously know what you're doing.
And congrats on the publication!
Beautiful, tension filled post. I'm wondering why Dan makes her feel this way in particular. Or is she just tired of him?
ReplyDeleteAh, Mr. Kelworth and Scott! So nice to see you here--thanks for providing some testosterone to balance the estrogen flooding the page :D
ReplyDeleteListen: before this chivalry thing gets out of hand, let me clarify--I love a gentleman. I'm Mexican (like Alexia), and I was raised to expect certain things, to find caring and attention in little details. But the car thing... I know many women that love it, take offense when it's not done, so please don't stop doing it :) For me, though, like Alexia, it's an awkward moment. I feel helpless.
Now, Mr. Kelworth, about the guys being jerks... I'm sure Alexia appreciates the sympathy, but it's a cultural thing. The guys were taught they'd be jerks if they *didn't* do it, so... it's a tough call.
Thanks for stopping by, and for the comments :) Made my day!
Congrats on your publication. Heck, I'd open the door. I don't mind chivalry, but I don't like being made to feel awkward.
ReplyDeleteNice six. I was with a guy once who insisted on opening and closing the door for me. I remember that hurt look when I would forget and do it myself.
ReplyDeleteI want my husband to get my door, probably now more than when I was dating. All day I'm sticking kids in cars and loading groceries etc. So, if I go out with my husband even just to the hardware store, I want him to get the car door for me. It reminds me I'm special to him.
ReplyDeleteNice little piece. I like the characters. :)
Interesting that it's only with car doors...really raises questions regarding her character arc. Nice work and great six!
ReplyDelete