Friday, January 10, 2014

I Think; Therefore, I Yam: The Cold Truth

A Finnish scale of temperatures, with helpful comparisons--for all of us non-Finns--with the rest of Europe. The last line cracks me up every time.

  • +15 --- Spanish wear caps, gloves, and winter coats; Finns are sunbathing.
  • +10 --- French desperately try to get their central heating on; Finns plant flowers.
  • + 5 --- Italian cars won't start; Finns drive convertibles.
  •    0 --- Pure water freezes; water in River Vantaa thickens a bit.
  • - 5 --- First people are found frozen in California; Finnish midsummer festival ends.
  • -10 --- Scots turn the heat on in their houses; Finns start to wear long-sleeved shirts.
  • -20 --- Swedes stay indoors; Finns are having last barbecue before winter.
  • -30 --- Half of the Greek people have been frozen to death; Finns start to dry laundry indoors.
  • -50 --- Polar bears evacuate North Pole; Finnish army starts its winter training.
  • -70 --- Siberians are moving to Moscow; Finns are furious, because their Kiskenkorva liquor can't be stored outdoors anymore.
  • -273 --- Absolute zero; Finns admit that it is quite cold outside.
  • -300 --- Hell freezes over; Finland wins the World Cup.

Visit I Think; Therefore, I Yam: The Cold Truth for more hilarity, including a priceless list headed "How Cold Was It?" It was so cold that... Hitchhikers were holding out pictures of thumbs. Starbucks started selling coffee on a stick. Oh, there's more, much more. Brilliant humor from this marvelous woman who's trying to figure out if she's "a writer who blogs or a blogger who writes"--which, of course, we should *all* be doing.


  1. Go ahead. Sip on your mai tai, and snicker at our pain, you heartless fiend. HA!

    Actually, it's a lot warmer here today than it was earlier this week. (This ol' gal doesn't handle single-digit temperatures very well.) Gonna be back in the mid-sixties this weekend, so I'm a happy camper. Not ready to sit outside sipping a mai tai yet, though... (Actually, I don't drink 'em at all, but it sounds so... warm weather-y...)

    1. Susan, you're the best find in blogs of this year. Yeah, I know the year's just started, but I'm having a hard time picturing anything topping your exquisite sense of humor. I shared the link and a snippet on FB, and people loved it. Thanks for the visit!

      P.S. -- I don't drink mai tais either, or anything served with umbrellas, but I love the mental picture :D

  2. This is wonderful. One of my bloggy friends is going to Finland in May, so I pointed her in this direction.

    1. Share the laughter--yes! Em, this post made me laugh so hard I've bookmarked it under the Cures for Depression tab :)

  3. Haha, I've seen something similar to this for Canada vs USA, and Vancouver (BC) vs Toronto (ON).

    1. Yes! There was one I saw last year about Russians, a video of these guys out in snow wearing flip-flops and shorts... Pretty good, too :D


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